Ok, so you’ve had a really long day at work, you come home to work on a university assignment, have some tea then head to bed. I mean you’re shattered. You’ve probably been up since at least 10am. I cant understand why parents don’t appreciate what busy lives us students lead. Anyway, now that you’re fed and watered and caught up on what’s happening in the jungle, you’re ready for bed. So you jump under your rather stale but homely covers and prepare yourself for some serious shut-eye. Just as you get into that certain position (where you feel like the person who invented beds invented them just for you because they are the best things in the world), you hear a noise. Perhaps it came from outside? Now you haven’t opened your curtains since the start of term and have no intention of doing so for the rest of term so you can’t even justify getting out of bed to look out the window.
You once again close your eyes in the hope of catching some Zzz’s. Just as you are remembering why you love beds so much…there’s that damn noise again. So this time you are pretty annoyed and decide to sit bolt upright in bed. You can always hear better when you sit up, it’s a fact. You hear a sound which resembles a piece of heavy wood being dragged across floorboards and think to yourself “what the hell is that?”. Once again you hear this peculiar noise. Why on earth would Mr and Mrs Grumpy from upstairs be moving furniture at 10.30pm? Then, as you hear what can only be described as a loud ‘grunt’, it all becomes clear. Somebody is snoring.
Now, not only do you hate being disturbed by any sort of noise when you’re trying to sleep, but you positively detest the typical snorer. Especially the overweight ones with greasy hair who have more drool coming out their mouths than Beethoven eating sherbet. So what can be done about this problem which has so kindly decided to arise at the most inappropriate time? Have they no consideration for the fact you have a lecture at 1pm? How rude.
Anyway the answer to the question is nothing. Unless you enclose a nose strip with your annual Christmas card for your lovely neighbours upstairs then I’m afraid it will be a pillow-over-the-head job. If the person who is making the awful noise is staying in your house then I can only suggest shoving a sock in their mouth or something along those lines. According to our good friends at BUPA, around four in ten adults have a snoring problem. Well thank god I’m not one of those poor people. Or even worse, a partner or relative of one of those people. Believe me, as much as I love him, if my boyfriend decided to take it upon himself to start this snoring malarkey, I’d be out the bed before you could say ‘get him a nose strip‘. So good luck to all you poor creatures who have to put up with this on a nightly basis. You have more tolerance than me. And as for upstairs…pipe down would you!
